Local Mom Finally Realizes That Leggings are Not Pants


Earlier this week, local stay-at-home-mom, Jill Lestare of Wausau, Wisconsin finally realized that leggings are not, in fact, pants. After the persistent hints dropped by friends and acquaintances along with passive-aggressive commentary on social media, Lestare admitted that the message has been received.

“I can’t believe how selfish I was.” Lestare stated. “It was so inconsiderate of me to be concerned with my own comfort and style preferences over the penchants of the other adults I come into contact with. It was a mistake. After much reflection, I have decided that I will now only be wearing what others consider acceptable”

In addition to her husband expressing his distaste for leggings, hostilities reached a near breaking point at a local park last week when other Mothers whispered and cackled behind Lestare’s back about her personal clothing choices. “We almost said something to her. ALMOST.” Said Cheryl Trimbleu also from Wausau, Wisconsin. “I’m not sure how productive that would have been, though. These types of issues are much better dealt with through gossip and bad looks.”

Initially, Lestare had assumed that both her husband and the other local mothers wouldn’t be concerned with her clothing choices. “I always thought it was fine for people to express themselves however they wanted through their clothing choices. I realize that was naïve. I see now that if they wouldn’t be comfortable wearing what I’m wearing, then I shouldn’t be either. It makes so much more sense now!” Lestare noted that a complete play date freeze-out and excessive amounts of side-eye really helped her come around on the issue.

Lestare told reporters that as a busy stay-at-home Mom, she liked the comfort and mobility that wearing leggings offered, but that no amount of comfort or freedom of choice was worth how upset other people seemed to be about something that doesn’t affect them in the slightest.

“Now that I’m on the other side of this terrible phase in my life, I understand how important it is to be concerned about what other people think of me.” Lestare added, “And if I don’t teach that lesson to my children, what kind of Mother would I be?”

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